It's not as peaceful, colourful
yet
as i want it to be
as it was supposed to be
by now
as I want it to be
because that is not me
yet
it wouldn't be truthful
it would make me a liar
an imposter
im done pretending to be so fine
to be cured
I'm curing
more than ever
I'm proud and happier than ever
I'm negleting what doesnt belong to me
im recognising what isn't made for me
to be
The world around me isnt in balance yet
It's colourful yes
But a colourful storm
I trust that peace is where I will get Because at least in my core
I’m no longer sore
I’m listening to the voice inside my chest
I’m feeling
recognizing that traveler (Jesus!)
coloring in the world around me
allowing it to absorb me
Yes, I’m no longer in a hopeless flee
(desperate for a normal human to be)
And I can't wait for this storm to pass
To see a clear sky arise through the mess
showing me
allowing me to see
who that I'm supposed to be
Feeding My Gut
It was about way more than aligning with my purpose, it was about coming Home.
"I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end" - Jer. 29:1
After painting not feeding my gut, I was at the beginning of feeding my gut (listening to the wisdom that God places within me), excited about what it would feel like to actually walk that journey. I excitingly made a sketch about what it would be like; Complete peace and happiness, full of green and pink. Right?
However, as soon as I started painting that, something didn't feel right. I was creating to express my soul. But I wasn't in such perfect place yet, I was only experiencing that change, instead of mastering it. And the world I was living in, was still full of struggle.
So when I started painting a background in balance, with only peaceful colours, I realized it was a lie. I painted all over the old version in the middle of the night.
I saw another dimension full of truth and life, but no one around me lived like it. Everything around me was worldly. The world I didn’t understand. Which made me more depressed than ever. Even after all the progress, I thought that there was seriously something wrong with me, and needed ‘fixing.’ So that I would be able to be happy in this society. Like everybody else. I had no idea that there was a Kingdom full of brothers and sisters who live life with God. The life which is not just an option, but the way it was always intended to be. Not knowing that truth IS what made me struggle. It’s an upside down world, but revival is coming!
So I held on to that piece of faith within me when the world let me down. As Jesus held my hand, He revealed Himself to me and led me to His kingdom. A Kingdom far greater than I could have ever imagined! With a Lord more powerful than I could have dreamed. Except it is real. God is real and Jesus is alive. For you too!
This Gut feeling was God’s will trying to reach me. His voice trying to teach me.
I didn't want to lie
so I painted the colours
that felt like they were mine
If you want your life to turn bright,
say this to invite Jesus into your life:
“Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God, that you died on the cross to rescue me from sin and death and to restore me to the Father. I choose now to turn from my sins and every part of my life that does not please you. I choose you. I give myself to you. I receive your forgiveness and ask you to take your rightful place in my life as my Savior and Lord. Come reign in my heart, fill me with your love and your life, and help me to become a person who is truly loving—a person like you. Restore me, Jesus. Live in me. Love through me. Thank you, God. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”
What People Are Saying
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
— 1 Peter 5:6-7
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
— 2 Cor 12:9-10
Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,
— 2 Peter 1:2-3
As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.
— Col 2:6-7
What People Are Saying
for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
— Philippians 2:13
But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God - and righteousness and sanctification and redemption.
— 1 Cor 1:30
Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
— Romans 5:9-10
As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.
— Quote Source